One of the best ways to gain clarity is being more present and aware….Aware of your thoughts, your emotions, your body as you move through the world. Each little piece of information you gather helps you understand what is truly important to you, as well as what you want to leave behind. Gaining this awareness can come from many different places: a yoga practice, long walks in nature, playing an instrument, writing, or a meditation practice. However you can gain more insight into yourself, that is what you need to be doing.
Also, pay attention to any resistance you have to this. Are you resistant to the words “meditation” or “yoga” and passing them off as cliche? If yes, then get over it! You do not have to do either of those particular practices to practice mindfulness. If you are resistant to doing any of this, also, think why. Is it because you do not want to have to face what is going on inside? That is actually a common response, so be patient with yourself and ask yourself which is more important : living your life consciously and feeling alive or allowing fear to keep you where you are?
If you are interested in hearing about meditation, the different types, what it really entails, then listen to this episode of the Diane Rehm Show. It is a great introduction if you are unfamiliar with meditation, but also an interesting discussion on why and how it is useful. It is 51 minutes, so be sure to give yourself some time!!!Read more
Our culture seems to place high value on the over the top change, the make over. In shows like the Biggest Loser and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition the changes in physical appearance or the amazing new home are so obviously different in such wonderful ways…but what about the “smaller changes” that are just as hard? The man who loses 20 pounds through healthy eating and exercise should be celebrated just as much as the one who lost 200! The woman who buys her first house has made the same huge strides towards improving her life as the family given a gorgeous new one! Look at the strides you make in your life and celebrate the heck out of them! Even if it is choosing a webinar to learn marketing strategies over watching TV one night, it is a huge step in becoming the person you want to be!Read more
A friend of mine said something that has stuck with me because it was both so simple and yet so profoundly true. It went something along these lines (and, I am taking some liberty in its re-phrasing because she might not use some of these words!!!)
“The saying that beauty is only skin deep is a farce. The more you scratch away at the surface of a person, the more you see their hopes, their dreams, their fears, their regrets, their humanity, the more beautiful they become. In fact, the deeper you look, the more you realize that everybody is a knock out.”
Did you get that? EVERYBODY is a knock out! By opening up and showing your true self, your unique set of values, emotions and experiences, you become ever more beautiful. Can you take that thought in? Can you tell yourself that you are deeply and truly a knock out? If not, then who else will be able to? Look deep within and see it, write it down, own it. You are a knock out.Read more
Here is the one word answer for that one….NOW. Now is absolutely the right time. Those pesky bills, responsibilities, fears and “inadequacies” will be there today and will be there two years from now when you feel more “stable.” How can I really believe this? It is because of one brutal truth: we have no control. We cannot say that we will ever be more stable or more ready. We cannot expect that everything will fall into some magical equilibrium allowing us to finally get started on change. We cling to the idea that making a decision is a permanent thing, when in reality, nothing is permanent. We are constantly setting a course and moving towards it, responding to changes in circumstance along the way, but that is only if we actually start out on the path. To avoid the starting line just because we are unsure of the timing is our best way to avoid striking out in the first place. We have no control, therefore every time is the right time. So, make. change. now. Otherwise, you could be waiting around for nothing for quite a long time.Read more
What does an invigorated life actually look like? How will I know if the path I am on will lead me there? While your invigorated life might look different than mine, I can only offer you my experience. Most days I wake up and really cannot wait to start working. Some days, I even find it hard to stay asleep because of all of the ideas and excitement bouncing around in my head! I spend the day reading articles, creating workshops, working with clients and speaking with new people about the coaching world. I also take at least one hour to go on a run, take a yoga class, a bike ride, or a long walk with a friend. I run errands that I feel like running or sit on the couch to a read a book when I feel like reading. I get to spend my evenings with my husband or with family and friends, playing outside or eating and chatting. I love that every aspect of my day contributes to my work in some way, as well as contributing to my personal well being. And even on those days that I do not want to get out of bed (because yes, I am human too!), I find myself in a much better mood AFTER starting my work day than before! This is what it is like to live my life fully conscious of the things that are important to me, to do a “job” that is truly inspiring and that comes from my heart. This is an invigorated life.Read more
Some of us love to trivialize what we are going through….both positive and negative. We love to downplay our experiences, but why? Are we afraid that we will overwhelm our audience with our sadness? With our joy? With our strength? Are we afraid that our thoughts will be diminished through another’s judgment? I have clients who will tell me something very personal through tears, following up with, “It’s not really a big deal.” What? Of course it is a big deal! If it is enough for you to have any sort of emotional response, then it is a big deal. It is your reality. It frames your looking glass. So do not ignore your truth in fear of being disregarded…pursue it.Read more
Many of us have a really hard time sharing our dreams, our stories, and our doubts. We do not want to seem silly or weak. We do not know that there are countless others out there that share some of our deepest fears and highest hopes. What does it take for you to open up? What can you gain from it? What do you lose every time you do not open up? Being a coach, I get to hear many personal stories that have not been shared with others. Let me tell you: You honor the person you share with by trusting them with your thoughts and emotions. So, who would you like to honor? Is it your partner? Your best friend? Know that you are honoring this person by sharing….but more importantly, you are honoring yourself.Read more